Empathetic leadership: why kindness is a superpower

Managing people is undeniably challenging. Over my 40-year career, I've encountered nearly every management style imaginable, from autocratic to democratic and everything in between. Consistently, I've noticed that the least effective leaders were those who led through fear or manipulation, creating cultures of caution and division. In contrast, the most successful and memorable leaders displayed genuine empathy and kindness, motivating us to collectively strive for excellence and openly share information and support each other.

Not everyone is naturally inclined towards leadership. If you haven't actively pursued a leadership role—perhaps finding yourself thrust into one temporarily due to unforeseen circumstances, such as filling a sudden vacancy—it can be especially challenging to step into that position with confidence, making the transition even more demanding. Developing the softer skills, particularly kindness and empathy, alongside any required technical expertise can make this transition smoother and help establish trust and loyalty within your team.

Kindness in action

When I founded my first business, a secretarial agency back in 1997, I quickly recognised the critical importance of leading with kindness. True kindness isn't a weakness; it’s a superpower. The leaders who left a lasting impression on me were those who created environments that encouraged openness and actively listened rather than dominated conversations. They had a knack for drawing quieter team members into discussions, ensuring all voices were heard, especially those easily overshadowed by louder, less thoughtful colleagues.

Despite early misconceptions that kindness might signal vulnerability, my experience proved the opposite. Kindness and empathy build the trust essential for creating psychological safety, enabling greater productivity, innovation, and creativity within teams.

My first business was launched from my living room. At the time, I was a single parent with a two-year-old daughter who, thankfully, loved fetching faxes (it was almost 30 years ago!) and happily entertained herself with colouring books while I worked away. When my business grew beyond what I could manage alone, I decided I would seek out other women like me – those who needed flexible work arrangements to balance their home life and career. 

Most businesspeople back then viewed women with children as a liability, but having experienced this balancing act of motherhood and breadwinning firsthand, I knew otherwise. It was largely because of this outlook from employers that I decided to start my own business after the birth of my daughter and then find other likeminded women to join me. I used kindness and empathy as my foundation, offering flexible hours that fit into their lives with many, like me, working in the evenings, after their children were tucked into bed. Both my own personal experiences as a working mother and as an employer, have shown me that with a little flexibility from employers, women tend to give back much more than they receive. Managing with kindness is not difficult, and its consequences can be hugely powerful.

Kindness as a leadership superpower

Multiple studies highlight the transformative power kindness can have within organisations. According to a report from the Harvard Business Review, kindness significantly improves employee engagement and organisational performance. Further reinforcing this, research published by CIPD (Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development) and written by Liz Zeidler, Co-Founder and Chief Executive of Happy City, explores how happiness makes business sense and has a key impact on the bottom line. By recognising the whole person comes to work, not just part of them, brings rich rewards in productivity and also in staff retention, which these days is becoming increasingly challenging and expensive for any business.

From my own experience as a leader, I've found that intentionally incorporating kindness into my management style does more than demonstrate my commitment to the team – it actively embodies my own core personal values. When I model kindness consistently, those working with me see authenticity, so our trust deepens and our collaborative strength grows. I've observed firsthand that alignment between personal values and organisational values is crucial. When this alignment exists, teams flourish; when it doesn't, dissatisfaction arises, ultimately leading people to seek opportunities elsewhere.

“Embedding kindness into leadership isn't just ethical leadership; it's effective leadership."

Jackie Clarke

How to bring kindness into the workplace

As a coach, I frequently work with leaders to further develop their communication skills and enhance interactions with their teams. Many initially perceive kindness as potentially risky or dangerous in managerial roles. When asked to elaborate, they often express concern that demonstrating kindness (misinterpreted as 'weakness') might lead to being taken advantage of or undermined. It’s only through deeper exploration of what kindness truly means that these leaders begin to reconsider their perspective. Eventually, they understand and appreciate the strength and positive impact kindness can bring to their effectiveness as leaders but also how through demonstrating the power of leading with kindness, the effect it can have on other managers within a team. 

Practically, managers can harness kindness as a superpower in several ways:

• Active Listening: Truly engaging with your team's ideas, concerns, and feedback demonstrates respect and appreciation, making each team member feel valued.
• Recognition and Appreciation: Regularly acknowledging both significant and small contributions fosters a sense of belonging and inspires higher performance.
• Empathy: Understanding and addressing the emotional needs of your team builds resilience, especially during challenging periods.

Reflecting on my own experiences, aggressive reactions or finger-pointing, although instinctive in moments of frustration, have always led to an erosion of trust. I've learned that genuine kindness, patience and understanding result in team members consistently delivering their best efforts voluntarily, not through fear but through mutual respect and motivation. Greater Good Magazine further emphasises this, indicating that friendly, supportive leadership significantly enhances organisational productivity and morale.

If you want to go far...

There is an African proverb that says, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”

It emphasises the importance and value of teamwork, collaboration, and unity when seeking lasting success. Kindness as a managerial superpower never implies lowering expectations or compromising performance. Rather, it magnifies your effectiveness by drawing out the very best from your team. Embedding kindness in your leadership strategy creates not just a positive work environment but also unlocks potential, driving extraordinary results.

Ultimately, kindness isn't just good ethics; it's smart leadership.