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Have you ever wondered if there's more to life than fulfilling roles and responsibilities? What if as you approach midlife, your best years are just beginning? Now there's a thought...
If you're navigating midlife and feeling that familiar pull toward something more meaningful, you're not alone. Many women reach this stage and realise that happiness isn't found in accomplishments, possessions, or even in fulfilling others' expectations. It's found within: a state of being that's shaped by purpose, passion, and connection.
Rethinking happiness in midlife
I may be wrong, but I believe most of us want to be happy. Yet, the word "happy" is loaded with so many meanings that can shift depending on our life stage or current outlook.
How often do you think about what it means to be happy? Is it only when life feels unfair or overwhelming? If you've ever caught yourself thinking, "I'll be happy when…," it's worth asking: What exactly is happiness? And how long you're prepared to wait?
Happiness isn't a destination or a checklist. It's not a reward for achieving or acquiring. It's a state of being that flows from how we live, the choices we make and the purpose that guides us. Searching for it as if it's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow only leads to frustration.
My personal journey to finding purpose
I spent a large part of my adult life searching for lasting happiness in people, places, jobs, homes and even in my own daughter. I rarely took responsibility for my own well-being; it always seemed to hinge on someone or something else.
Then, one day in a bookstore, I discovered a small pale-blue book: Ikigai – The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life by Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles.
Ikigai (ee-key-guy), which translates to "reason to live," isn't just about doing what you love. It's about finding purpose and fulfilment by aligning your passions, skills, and values with the needs of the world around you. This discovery was a turning point for me, especially when I learned about Japan's cultural emphasis on harmony, mutual respect, and collective well-being and how these values are applied to everyday life.
Lessons from the Blue Zones: living with purpose after 50
Through learning about ikigai, I also discovered the Blue Zones—five regions where people live notably longer, healthier lives by maintaining purpose, community ties, and active lifestyles:
- Okinawa, Japan
- Sardinia, Italy
- Loma Linda, California
- Nicoya Peninsula, Costa Rica
- Ikaria, Greece
In Okinawa, women in particular live longer than almost anywhere else on Earth, maintaining vibrant lives well into old age, with an exceptionally high concentration of centenarians, roughly 68 per 100,000 inhabitants.
There is a fantastic book by Dan Buettner and a Netflix series which explains the phenomenon of the Blue Zones and goes into some depth in analysing how we can all live a life based around the Blue Zones lifespan.
According to the Office for National Statistics (ONS), there were around 15,120 people aged 100 and over in the UK in 2020. Given a population of roughly 67 million at the time, that works out to about 22–23 centenarians per 100,000 inhabitants, notably lower than the 68 per 100,000 reported in Okinawa.
Researchers attribute this longevity to a combination of factors: a plant-rich diet, regular physical activity (like gardening or walking), strong community bonds, and an ingrained sense of purpose, often guided by ikigai.
Not only do many Okinawans live past 100, but they also maintain active, fulfilling lives well into old age. Unlike many Western retirees, they often stay engaged in their communities, participate in family life, and cultivate friendships across all ages.
This sense of social inclusion protects against isolation, a key factor linked to poor mental and physical health in later years. In fact, studies show that social isolation increases the risk of premature death from all causes, often to a degree comparable to smoking, obesity, and physical inactivity.
Embracing career transition and lifelong learning
In Okinawa, "retirement" isn't a common concept. Elders rarely spend their days sitting in front of the TV, waiting for life's end. Instead, they enjoy fresh air, gentle outdoor exercise, and meaningful social connections. It's common to see them practicing tai chi, dancing, or simply walking.
They also pass on their wisdom to younger generations, preserving family recipes and stories—cultural treasures that can be lost when older adults aren't valued or included.
Learning new skills and staying curious as we enter midlife and beyond keeps our minds sharp and our lives fulfilling. It's never too late to explore new interests, challenge ourselves, and grow in unexpected ways.
By staying open to new experiences and embracing change, we maintain a sense of purpose and excitement about the future. This mindset not only enriches our personal lives but also strengthens our connections with others, as we continue to share and learn together. Ultimately, curiosity and a willingness to learn help us stay vibrant and resilient at every stage of life.
Finding purpose after 50: my executive coaching journey
Discovering the concept of ikigai and embracing midlife as a gateway to new experiences, challenges, and growth opened my mind to the possibility of learning something new. I had felt for a long time that I had missed out on my education in my younger years and had convinced myself that it was too late to pursue an undergraduate course, thinking I wouldn't be up to the academic challenge it demanded.
In reality, it was fear of doing something new and in an environment I had not experienced that was holding me back, along with the absence of role models who had taken on this kind of challenge at my age. Among my generation, it was almost expected that by 60, I would ease into retirement and spend my days winding down, whereas I was open to exploring without the ties of children or other dependants.
But deep down, I knew I wasn't ready to settle into that narrative. I felt a pull toward something more meaningful. Trusting that instinct, I took a bold step and enrolled in a high-profile executive coaching course, facing my fears and embracing the challenge and ultimately becoming an accredited Executive Coach, a path I once thought was out of reach.
Shifting my perspective to focus on the present, putting the past aside and trying not to predict the future, opened my mind to new possibilities. This change led me to my 'happy place,' which was much closer than I ever imagined. Through this journey, I learned that genuine happiness comes from aligning with your core values and living in harmony with the world around you and what makes you truly comfortable in your own skin.
"Only staying active will want to make you live 100 years."
Japanese proverb
How to discover your Ikigai: a practical guide
Finding your ikigai begins with understanding who you are now, not who you've been. We must ask the question: "What's my reason for being?" This may sound daunting, but the answer lies within each of us. We simply need to look inward to uncover it. The interesting thing here is that I took myself back to the days when I did dream, before responsibilites took hold and held me captive. I thought about the person I had wanted to be a long time ago and how with the passing of time, this had now shifted into something quite different, but in many ways, also the same.
In my case, I started by identifying my values, understanding what genuinely matters to me, especially as I was transitioning into midlife. I felt I was quite different from the person I had been when I was building my career and raising my daughter.
Truly understanding who you are now is the essence of finding your purpose: discovering the passions and guiding principles that give your life meaning and using them to shape your daily actions. Finding your purpose means uncovering a deep sense of meaning and direction that informs your choices.
Three essential questions for midlife reinvention
Reflect on these questions and sit with them for a while:
- What activities make me feel alive and lose track of time?
- What values are most important to me at this stage of my life?
- How can my strengths and experiences serve others?
Take small, consistent steps. Try new activities, engage in your community, or learn something you've always been curious about. Staying active—mentally, physically, and socially—keeps your spirit vibrant and your mind sharp.
Your path to purpose-driven living
By embracing midlife as a new chapter filled with possibility, you can cultivate a life of purpose and joy. When we open our minds, face our fears and believe that we deserve to be happy, all kinds of wonderful things can happen.
Remember, happiness isn't a destination; it's created through living intentionally and authentically. So, what's your reason for being. It's never too late to discover it.
Ready to explore your own Ikigai?
Start by reflecting on the three questions above, and remember: your most fulfilling years might just be beginning...
