Personal style in midlife: how to dress for your body type 

For some time, I’d been frustrated by my hesitation when clothes shopping, often returning home empty-handed and feeling down. As a woman in her mid-50s, I struggled with knowing what to buy, always fearing that my choices would either be too young, too old, or too frumpy. I had never really had a problem knowing what suited me before, but now I found myself being overly critical of my appearance, particularly my body, and I began to retreat into myself. My confidence faltered, and the more I worried about it, the worse it got.

I am naturally petite, and just a little weight gain on me is noticeable. With the onset of menopause, I had gained almost 9kg gradually over several years. That slow gain is a killer;  it creeps up so gradually you find yourself become accepting of it. Inconsistent sizing between brands doesn’t help — what was a size 12 even 10 years ago is now closer to a size 10. So, you might feel you’re still within your usual range, but in reality you’re bigger. It’s all a bit of a con, and one at our cost.

The dawning and acceptance that my body had changed

The crunch came for me at 8:30 a.m. on 28th December 2020. After almost a year of lockdown, during which time like many others I had eaten too much comfort food and drank way too much wine, I pulled a pair of jeans off the shelf that I hadn’t worn in a while — and I couldn’t even pull up the zip. It was a particularly wet, dark winter’s morning, just to add to the misery.

I looked at myself in the mirror and didn’t recognise the person staring back. Tears welled up as I slumped onto the bed with my head in my hands. I sat there for what felt like a long time, berating myself for my lack of self-control. With my 59th birthday looming, it made me feel like I might as well just give up.

But if there’s one thing I am good at, it’s bouncing back from a low point. I don’t give up easily. Eventually, having allowed myself time to wallow in my own self-pity (we all need to do that sometimes, it is actually good for us) I got up, opened my laptop, and started searching for anything and everything about losing weight and gaining better health as a woman in midlife.

The next day, I created a simple Excel spreadsheet (I love a spreadsheet!) and started logging my measurements: weight, waist, hips, and bust. I downloaded the NHS BMI App and set a weekly (Tuesday) weigh-in. My research brought my attention to a fantastic BBC documentary Michael Mosley had done around fasting, all research backed. I then found the books he'd written and made a plan to adopt the Michael Mosley 5:2 Diet, which I felt I could stick to and within 3 months I dropped from 59kg to 52kg. I cut back drinking to weekends only (gradually cutting it out altogether for almost a year) reduced my sugar intake, and committed to daily 40-minute walks (the dog was delighted!). I’ll be honest, there were plenty of times I veered off track, but I always got back on it. Proof that you most definitely don’t have to be perfect to get where you want to be.

Transformation and building my confidence

The transformation was incredible. Watching the slow weight loss was uplifting, but the biggest thrill was seeing the drop in inches around my waist and hips (and sadly, just a little off my boobs!).

Between starting my journey and hitting my target on 22nd March 2021, I had dived deeply into understanding how my body worked on a cellular level. It was like a curtain had lifted — I had never felt or looked so well in years. My hair, nails and skin flourished, and I felt fantastic.

One key learning from my research and reading was the need for women my age to build strength through muscle gain. Having never lifted weights before, I found a female personal trainer nearby, who was also around my age. She completely understood my needs; four years later, I still see her weekly.

The first three months of gym (April to June) were tough because I’m not naturally a gym person, but my PT pushed me — which is exactly why I chose her. Suddenly, in July, it all clicked: my body became more flexible and I moved more easily, I increased the weights I lifted, and I began to love my workouts. My PT was a huge encouragement and spending time with her made the journey enjoyable. My body toned up, my shape changed, and I even had the beginnings of a true core!

If you can, I highly recommend investing in a PT, even if just for a few months to get you started because it can truly transform your wellness journey and help to build consistency when it comes to changing or developing new habits like exercise.

From crisis to a new life vision

That grey December morning changed my life dramatically. Improving my health and wellness gave me a renewed surge of energy and confidence. It also made me reflect on what I wanted my midlife years to look like as I approached 60. Getting my body back was just one piece of the puzzle. Regaining my confidence and self-belief opened the door to exploring what I truly wanted for my future. I went on to retrain as an Executive Coach which really did change my world in so many ways, the main one being my absolute love of learning. 

London College of Style (LCS)

Having qualified as an Executive Coach, I discovered my passion for working with midlife women who were where I had been back in December 2020. I particularly loved the lifestyle side of the work, and so it felt natural to develop my skillset further into the world of styling. As women, we know how clothes and accessories can lift us — but they can also drag us down if they don’t suit our body shape or style personality. I came across the London College of Style (LCS) and a thought struck me: could I be my own stylist?

I’d often been told I had good taste and an eye for design but felt with all the changes menopause had brought, I'd lost my direction. Intrigued, I signed up for their Personal Styling Women’s Diploma. The course was eye-opening. I not only created my own personal style but also gained newfound confidence in choosing clothes that suited me perfectly. With my new body and new outlook (see my thoughts on How to Develop an Ageless Attitude), I fell in love with expressing myself through the clothes I wore.

What exactly is personal styling?

We are all unique; what works for me might not work for you, and vice versa. When buying clothes, there are many factors to consider, such as your lifestyle, body shape, colouring and personality. Reflecting on my previous style choices, I realised I had very little understanding of these basics, which led to countless fashion mistakes (some costly ones, too!). As a busy career woman and mother, I never had the time or patience to sift through shops or browse endlessly online, leading to rushed decisions or taking poor advice from shop assistants eager to make a sale. The key lesson I learned was the importance of understanding your body shape and style personality. Knowing these two vital aspects makes building a functional wardrobe far easier.

Begin your personal style journey here

Very soon, through my ProAge Community Space (to join, click Rediscover Your Purpose button below), I'll be publishing a series of articles designed to help you become your own personal stylist. To start, here's an overview of what we'll cover and insights into each topic:

How to find your body shape

Understanding your body shape—whether curvy, straight, petite, or tall—is the foundation of creating a wardrobe tailored specifically to you.

Discover your style personality

This revelation is genuinely life-changing! Knowing your style personality transforms shopping experiences forever. Discovering my style personality helped me feel completely in control of my choices, and interestingly, it was entirely different from when I was younger.

How do you live your life?

Here, I will show you how I incorporate my coaching expertise with the world of fashion. Exploring how my day-to-day life had evolved helped me understand why my wardrobe no longer fit my reality. I noticed I was consistently wearing only a fraction of my clothes, constantly doing laundry because I recycled the same few items.

Wardrobe edit

This step is liberating, although a little daunting. The wardrobe edit forced me to finally remove items that had been sitting unused for years. It was incredibly freeing!

Brand awareness

Not all brands are created equal. Knowing my body shape, style personality, and daily wardrobe needs allowed me to identify brands that genuinely worked for me. I also incorporated ethical considerations as sustainability and reducing waste are personally important to me.

Shopping

Now, my approach to shopping is completely transformed. I no longer hesitate over shape, size, colour, or style. I've streamlined my preferred brands down to just six, including underwear, which was another surprising discovery! My shopping trips, both in-store and online, are now efficient, enjoyable, and occasionally include coffee, cake, and even a glass of bubbly!

Embrace your midlife style and step boldly forward!

Finally stepping into my midlife shoes (quite literally) has been transformative! I can honestly say I now have tremendous confidence in the way I dress. Discovering myself through personal styling was like an awakening to the authentic me. There are so many wonderful brands dedicated to celebrating and empowering midlife women, and this revelation is a big part of what inspired me to create ProAge Lifestyle.

With age, comes a profound sense of self-awareness, not just internally but visually as well. I now genuinely love shopping, confident that my purchases are investments in my wardrobe and also in myself in so many meaningful ways.

This journey also spurred me on to begin an honest assessment of other aspects of my life. It sparked a holistic reflection, prompting me to revisit exercise, nutrition and wellness with renewed passion and commitment. Midlife isn't about slowing down; it's about levelling up, thriving, and embracing your power.

I urge all my clients to make a promise to themselves to commit to do the work and push the boundaries, so they live the kind of life they want to live and on their terms. The joy of midlife and beyond is yours for the taking – become the embodiment of the vibrant, fearless, and unapologetically fabulous ProAge Woman!