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Personally, I was a little late to this party, wishing I'd listened more to my intuition when thoughts of needing significant life change stirred in me approaching my 50th birthday. At that time, I was co-running a successful creative agency with my husband, coping with the final stages of perimenopause and heading towards menopause, supporting my daughter through her A-Levels, and thinking about moving house.
Life was extremely busy and at times chaotic. When I finally began considering my midlife chapter in my mid-50s, I could see the exit door but couldn't quite reach the handle; my mind was overwhelmed, and I felt an enormous responsibility to our family business.
As Finance Director and deeply involved in business development, I knew my role was critical, making it difficult to walk away, as much as I longed to. This burden of such a monumental decision, almost certainly contributed to my delay in pursuing any kind of career change. If this resonates with you, know there is a light at the end of that tunnel if you keep going.
Building self-confidence to make a decision
It took me another four years of going back and forth in my head before I finally made the decision to act rather than continue ruminating. Being comfortable where I was—even though, in fact, it was extremely uncomfortable—was what held me back. Fear of making the wrong choice weighed heavily on me.
I recognised this feeling because I had been here before, albeit for different reasons. The common thread was always a desire to make a life-changing decision, one that would significantly alter the course of my life.
However, there was one crucial difference this time: the decision I was wrestling with was entirely about me. Previously, when I'd found myself in similar circumstances, my decisions involved the future of my daughter, the breakup of my marriage, and consequently, leaving our family home. Now, here I was in my mid-50s, presented with the exciting opportunity to finally do something purely for myself. Ironically, it was precisely the thought that my decision might be selfish that kept me stuck, procrastinating and unable to move forward.
It was through my work with a coach that I was finally able to organise my scattered thoughts. This clarity allowed me to pinpoint exactly what I wanted to pursue and begin exploring the possibilities and options available.
Once I had gained clear insight into what I truly wanted, I shared my thoughts with my husband and daughter. Importantly, I wasn’t seeking their permission; I was sharing a carefully considered decision. Regardless of their reactions, I was determined to pursue the changes I had worked so hard to define, untangling all those complicated thoughts that had been swirling around in my head for such a long time.
Ultimately, I transitioned into Executive Coaching, choosing also to incorporate lifestyle elements into my practice by drawing upon my rich experiences from both personal and professional life.
The decision making process and how to start
One of our greatest fears is that nothing stays the same—that everything inevitably changes. Learning to embrace change and to move forward, rather than standing still or retreating, is vital for our growth. By allowing ourselves to experience change rather than running from it, we gain greater confidence. We begin to see that we truly have the capacity to adapt, even if we previously doubted ourselves. This awareness helps us live richer, more meaningful lives.
Reflecting on the beginning of my journey, it’s clear I was initially all over the place. My mind was a whirlwind, lacking structure and filled mostly with complaints about feeling trapped. My emotions swung dramatically between moments of supreme confidence and deep doubts about my ability to do anything beyond my current role. Having performed the same job for over ten years, my confidence in stepping into something new was understandably low.
However, if I had paused to truly evaluate my self-worth from the very start, perhaps I could have reached my goal much sooner. With that in mind, here’s a gentle reminder as you begin your own journey—to help you adopt the right mindset, enabling you to examine yourself thoroughly from every angle and discover your true value and self-belief, because its these two important aspects that will get you to where you want to go.
Acknowledge your self-worth
Women have so much to offer the workplace, especially when we come with years of experience and earned wisdom. We are valuable assets to any business. However, sadly, this view is not universally acknowledged. Too often we are defined by our physiology as we age, rather than by the experience and wisdom we bring.
The onset of perimenopause can be disruptive, but it's a natural physiological change that we can manage, with or without organisational support. Balancing physical and emotional changes while maintaining demanding roles and managing family responsibilities can be exhausting.
As challenging as it can be at times however, I would never suggest leaving high-profile positions due to perimenopause or menopause symptoms. On the contrary, I firmly believe midlife transitions represent a pivot toward becoming the woman you were always meant to be.
Midlife can offer opportunities to pursue goals previously set aside due to financial or parental responsibilities. Your values, needs, and desires are likely evolving, and making a life or career change during this period is about aligning your professional life with these evolving priorities.
You matter, and you deserve to position yourself in a way that best serves you, not necessarily others.
Jackie Clarke
Leave the guilt behind and step into your power
As women, we often carry more than our fair share of guilt, assuming additional burdens that perhaps our partners don’t equally share, giving to others before we give to ourselves. I’m not saying this is a bad thing, but sometimes it gets out of balance. Before you know it, you have no time for yourself and then you become resentful.
One empowering aspect of ageing for me has been discovering a stronger sense of self and becoming comfortable prioritising my own needs without guilt. When I chose to step away from our family business, it was initially very challenging because I felt a huge amount of guilt, as if I was abandoning my responsibilities to my family. Once I might have hesitated, waiting for universal agreement.
This time, however, I firmly stood my ground. I planned my exit independently before discussing it openly because I knew I would be swayed; it was important that I knew what I wanted so I could commit myself wholeheartedly and also begin to develop the passion and self-belief that could drive me forward.
To support this process, I worked with a coach, something I had never done before. The sessions with her offered invaluable insights, providing a safe space to articulate my motivations and clarify my next steps.
The six steps to successful decision-making
As a seasoned professional, you have likely made countless career decisions. However, midlife decisions often carry more significant implications, impacting career trajectory, lifestyle, finances, family dynamics, and personal fulfilment.
Having experienced this myself, I understand the necessity for structured guidance through this process. My own diverse life experiences have provided me with a comprehensive perspective on how to approach significant midlife decisions. As a result, I’ve developed a structured framework designed to support the unique complexities of decision-making at this life stage.
Midlife decisions are distinct from earlier life choices. They can trigger fear and uncertainty, often compounded by decreasing confidence and self-imposed limitations. I've navigated these feelings personally and understand the importance of approaching this thoughtfully and methodically.
My framework will help you organise your thoughts, clearly identify your current stage in the decision-making process, and confidently move toward your ultimate goals. My systematic approach naturally aligns with who I am. I thrive on clarity, structure, and well-defined plans, qualities that have consistently placed me in leadership roles throughout my career.
This approach helps maintain focus during challenging moments when overwhelm, confusion, or temptation to abandon goals arise. Working with a coach helps manage these challenges effectively, but there is no reason why you can’t use this framework to support yourself at the start of your journey…
Step 1 - Discovering your true north
The most crucial question is, "What do I truly want in my midlife years?" To answer this, we must deeply explore why this desire for change emerged. Begin with introspection, understanding your current core values, strengths, passions and priorities, which likely evolved significantly from your 30s.
Imagine articulating a clear personal mission statement grounded in values such as family, freedom, impact, or creativity, clearly identifying what drives your happiness, fulfilment, and purpose.
Step 2 - Mapping your present to your ideal future
When considering leaving a 15-year role alongside my husband, I felt stuck and unclear about how to make such a significant change. Your situation may differ, but you might feel similarly burdened by responsibility or guilt.
An honest evaluation of your career and lifestyle helps identify areas of satisfaction and areas needing improvement, without judgment, only empowerment. Understanding your current reality allows effective bridging to the fulfilling life you envision.
Step 3 - Exploring new possibilities
One of midlife's joys is the permission to dream anew. This step encourages structured brainstorming, ideally with someone trusted. Whether it’s stepping into senior advisory roles, launching a passion-based business, consulting, relocating, or planning meaningful retirement activities, explore freely and openly.
Step 4 - A framework to evaluate choices confidently
With multiple options identified, apply a powerful decision-making framework to evaluate each choice systematically against defined criteria. Clearly weighing pros, cons, and implications prevents analysis paralysis, enabling confident, values-aligned decisions.
Step 5 - Overcoming fears and moving forward boldly
Midlife decisions can provoke fears – making wrong choices, financial uncertainty, disrupting routines. Address these head-on through coaching to manage biases, fears, and build resilience to confidently progress.
Step 6 - Turning decisions into action
Decisions without actions are incomplete. This framework concludes with clear action-planning tailored to your chosen path, whether career reinvention, retirement transition, or lifestyle overhaul.
Determining our future selves
The decisions we make today shape tomorrow. Often, choices are influenced by transient emotions, which may be unrelated to the decisions themselves. Emotions significantly impact outcomes and so it’s important when you decide to make life changing decisions such as change career, that they are not emotion driven. The future is not something that happens to you it’s something you make happen; it's shaped by every choice we make now.
What’s next?
After deciding on a direction, consider reading my article Midlife Transition - The Great Unravelling or contact me directly by clicking Find Your Next Step button below for a free 30-minute conversation to explore working through your transition together.
Remember this...
No matter your midlife stage, your experiences, knowledge, and unique strengths hold immense value. Never doubt your worth or potential. Self-belief is your greatest asset – embrace it confidently, and you will find a fulfilling path awaiting you. Why not join our community by clicking the Rediscover Your Purpose button below to share thoughts and experiences from other midlife women, just like you. There's nothing to lose and everything to gain.
